The Difference Between Arranged and Forced Marriages
There is a misconception in the United Kingdom that confuses arranged marriage with forced marriage. What is the difference, and does it go against Islam?
When we think about marriage, cultural practices and traditions often come to mind. For many Muslims, marriage is seen as a sacred union, and in many parts of the world, arranged marriages are a common practice. However, there is a significant difference between arranged and forced marriages, and understanding this distinction is crucial to dispelling misconceptions that often arise.
What is an Arranged Marriage?
An arranged marriage is one where families or individuals play a significant role in finding a suitable spouse for someone, but the final decision lies with the individuals themselves. In arranged marriages, both parties are given the opportunity to meet, get to know each other, and consent to the union. It is important to note that in many cultures, including Islamic tradition, arranged marriages are seen as a way to connect people with shared values, beliefs, and backgrounds.
In an arranged marriage, the involvement of families is crucial, as they are usually seeking a partner who shares similar cultural, religious, and family values. However, the key point is that both individuals involved in the arrangement have the right to accept or reject the match. The families act as facilitators, but the decision-making power ultimately rests with the bride and groom.
What is a Forced Marriage?
A forced marriage, on the other hand, occurs when one or both parties are coerced or pressured into marrying someone against their will. In this scenario, consent is either completely absent or severely undermined. Forced marriage is a violation of human rights and is illegal in many countries, including the United Kingdom, where laws have been put in place to protect individuals from such practices.
A forced marriage can happen when an individual is threatened, manipulated, or subjected to emotional, psychological, or physical pressure to marry someone they do not want to marry. This may be done for reasons such as family honour, cultural traditions, or even financial or social gain. In a forced marriage, the individuals involved have no autonomy or freedom of choice, making it fundamentally different from an arranged marriage.
Why Do Some People Confuse Arranged Marriages with Forced Marriages?
The confusion between arranged and forced marriages arises largely from misunderstandings about the role of consent and the extent of family involvement. In cultures where arranged marriages are common, there can be a fine line between what is considered an “arranged” marriage and what can feel like a “forced” one.
Some people may view arranged marriages as being inherently coercive because of the significant involvement of family members in the matchmaking process. However, as we’ve outlined, an arranged marriage involves consent from both parties, and there is no pressure to marry someone who doesn’t feel comfortable with the match.
The key difference lies in the ability of the individual to either accept or reject the match. In a forced marriage, refusal is not an option, whereas in an arranged marriage, refusal is both allowed and respected.
The Islamic Perspective on Consent in Marriage
Islamic teachings make it very clear that marriage must be based on mutual consent, and no one, male or female, should be forced into a union. The Quran provides guidance on this issue in several verses. One such verse is:
“And do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between them in a lawful manner” (Quran 2:232).
This verse highlights that the consent of both parties is paramount. Forced marriages are not only a violation of personal rights but are also contrary to the principles of Islam, which emphasis's free will and choice in matters of marriage.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also addressed the issue of forced marriages in a famous hadith, saying:
“A woman who has been married previously has more right to her marriage than her guardian, and a virgin’s consent must be sought regarding her marriage.” (Sahih Muslim)
This hadith reinforces the notion that a woman’s consent is essential for a valid marriage and that no one, including her family or guardian, can force her into a marriage without her agreement. This teaching aligns with the core values of Islam, which priorities personal autonomy and mutual respect.
How Muslim Marriage Matchmaking Apps Help
By providing a platform that fosters genuine connections, our app helps users avoid the pressures or misunderstandings that can sometimes arise from traditional matchmaking methods. Importantly, it also ensures that the decision to marry remains in the hands of the individuals involved. With the help of family members, but without the risk of coercion, users can explore meaningful relationships in a comfortable and safe space.
While both arranged and forced marriages may seem similar at first glance, they are fundamentally different in terms of consent and autonomy. An arranged marriage is one where both parties have the freedom to choose their partner, with the help of their families, while a forced marriage involves coercion and a lack of personal choice.
It is crucial to understand that Islam emphasis's the importance of consent in marriage, and forced marriages have no place within Islamic teachings.
